so... not entirely sure how or why, but ...
I was starting to play around with NCSExpert, but didn't code anything (didn't even get it to connect, tbh!). After a day or so in the car it popped up. Their instructions do say that the unit tries to code what it needs on its own, wonder if it needed a few restart or power-down cycles or something. Anyway. It's working. Same as the CIC version in my M3. Yeah, the resolution is worse because the screen is worse, but it's not material and perfectly usable. With this in place, I see no reason to upgrade to CIC since I only use that for system settings once in a blue moon.
Also, worth mentioning that their support was shockingly good. They list a whatsapp number on their site which I hit up last night (saturday night). Got a response within 20 minutes, and an in-depth, intelligent and grammatically correct one at that. Same thing tonight when it finally popped up and I ran into some settings issues. Talked me through via text, got everything resolved. Was pretty blown away by that.