Dude this thread has gone on way to long. If you have not figured it out by now, you are not going to. Suck it up and take the beast to some one that can help you. At least then you will have a car to drive which is more important than owing one.
First, What difference does it make to you, how long this thread is?
Second, How do you know what is important to us?
Third, There have been many posts to this thread that cover background information; Many regarding DIS 57 for example. This has greatly increased its length. Unlike your post, these provide insight that just may be the key to its solution.
Fourth, This is a thread for those of up who do our OWN work. My experience with professional mechanics is that MOST of them are hacks whose primary goal is to maximize their take. They typically replace good parts and then pronounce, "Even though the $1000.00 I charged you to replace that part made no difference; it was probably bad anyway." I can and have been doing that. There are examples on this thread of just this type of "professional" "repair."
I would bet that, if we followed your "advice," the very first thing these "professionals" would say is that the brand new master cylinders we replaced at the beginning of this saga are bad. If you had bothered to read this thread in its entirety, you would see I have checked the operation of the brand new OEM TRW M/C, and verified it good. I also had a "professional mechanic" instruct me to replace the vacuum booster... it made NO difference! At least this "pro" didn't rip me off for the inflated cost of his labor! Or... by adding by a 200% markup on the OEM part I installed.
Fifth, There is SOMETHING malfunctioning with our brake systems. Your assertion that "If you have not figured it out by now, you are not going to;" says more about you than it does about us. We CAN and WILL figure this out. Unlike you; I, at least, don't quit just because a problem turns out to be a bit more difficult than I anticipated.
Sorry... "Dude..." I have NO INTENTION of taking this car in to a "professional mechanic" who doesn't know any more than I do about what is wrong.
My opinion at this point, is that BMW put a poorly designed ABS unit in these vehicles and I WILL eliminate EVERY SINGLE POSSIBILITY before I reward them by giving them an additional $1500.00 for the subbed unit that corrects the problem!
Your OPINION couldn't matter LESS to me! If you have nothing constructive to offer, don't waste our time by posting!