BMW M5 Forum and M6 Forums banner
1 - 5 of 5 Posts

93 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Sometimes life can be beautiful. Take for instance, the makings of a perfect night. Start with the basics: Friday night dinner with old friends... old friend is a college fraternity brother (TEP) ... include our wives...add 45 minutes drive time to their house in M5 cause it's the Beast and always will be...and include blacktop 4 lane highway in the mix (I-695 to I-95N - Baltimore).

Then add Friday night dinner, good conversation, and a great night out. For dessert, add some tired sleepy wife and kids and await the wife's "'time to go home' sub-routine", and load the Beast for home.

For dessert, add the drive home with one serving of M3 that doesn't know anything about a good old fashion arse kicking by his bigger brother. And, for the icing on the cake, recognize the traffic pattern begs for the "2 Step iPod 'M' Series 39 Truck Shuffle"

What is this you ask? Why, it is very simple lads. Let me tell you a story of how you kick an arse on the highway, old school (M3 is my personal experience - substitute AMG or 'vette at your convenience):

1. Drive along minding your own business in mixed light traffic and allow cocky M3 driver to spot you. I say "spot you" because we all know you pulled up to him, as the mothership, to check in.

2. Once he spots you, look at the road ahead, and this is important: Tap the gas only on the que signal - and the que signal is a tractor trailor in Lane 1 that is ONE MILE ahead. When you see this tractor trailor, hit the gas and get behind it. As an M5 driver, you recognize you will immediately travel 3/4 mile in what appears to be 4 seconds, so allow the M3 to catch up and recover from his head butt.

3. When he takes the bait - and he will, especially if he has the bad arse wing on his trunk - pull ahead and allow him to follow you in Lane 1 with you behind the tractor trailor.

4. STEP 1: Here is the tricky part: While driving behind the truck in Lane 1, watch Lane 2 for the approaching "next fastest" car. This car likely has a lane of trafic following behind it - usually as much as 20 cars - so make your move wisely to pull this off.

5. STEP 2: WHEN SAFE, but at perfect timing to prevent the M3 from copying your awesome move, SWITCH TO LANE 2, FLOOR IT. and HAUL ARSE.

6. Your baited M3 is now stuck behind the tractor trailor and cannot switch lanes because of the traffic in Lane 2. With your brand new and clear 1 mile 4 lane highway ahead of you, frequently glance at your rear view mirrow and admire your work. After 3/4 mile when it is clear you won, slow down and cruise at 60, chill out, and adjust your iPod for your favorite tune (of course plugged into your AUX input), crank the volume, and then realize your wife is sleeping and you did not get caught.

7. Add that you did this at age 39 and the M3 guy was likely in his twenties, and you just pulled off the "2 Step iPod "M" Series 39 Truck Shuffle"

:wroom: Drive Smart.


:byee55amg ///M5

992 Posts
BKH said:
Nice story, but the "1080i" thing must mean you're a home theater buff (like me)?
Great story! Your wife must have been zonked 'cuz if I touch the accelerator too briskly or turn up the music too loud, I get the "I cannot believe you are even thinking about it with me in the car..." sub-routine!

Another Home Theater buff here:

Current Equipment List:

Seleco Millennium CRT Projector with 7" CRT
Silicon Image DVDO iScan Pro
Stewart LX111V 111" Electric Drop Down screen with 1.5 gain
B&K AVR 307 7 Channel Receiver
3 Snell in-wall version E.5mk.2 Tower speakers (AMC 800)
1 Snell 10" powered subwoofer (PS.10 mk2)
2 pairs of Snell in-wall AMC 550mp 6 1/2" multi-pattern surround speakers
RCA DTC100 High Definition Digital Receiver

RCA DSA8900E HDTV Satellite dish
Sony DVPNS700P Progressive Scan DVD player
Panamax P1000+ power supply/conditioner
RTI Theater Touch System Controller
Xantech One-Zone connecting block
Xantech 12v power supply
Xantech Dinky-link receiver
5 IR emitters
Standesign rack system

For the whole house audio:

AudioAccess PX600 Six Zone/Five source controller/processor
AudioAccess PX612
6 KPS/W White keypads
Keypad termination board
2 pairs of Niles OS10 Indoor/Outdoor speakers (for the patio)
1 Niles speaker level A/B Auto Switcher
5 pairs of Proficient C800 ceiling mounted speakers

Sony Stereo Receiver

Sony 5-disc CD player

Onkyo 5-disc CD player

Mitsubishi S-VHS
1 - 5 of 5 Posts