A young, good looking, extremely wealthy, 35 year-old guy goes to his doctor for a physical. After his doctor checks him out and finds him in excellent health asks if there's anything he may have missed that's bothering him. The man says everything is fine except for one problem. The doctor asks, "what is it?"
The guy says, "well, every day I wake up around 8am and my wife, a 21-year-old former Miss Brazil who is a gourmet chef and sexual dynamo, goes right under the covers and gives me the most fantastic blowjob in the world, after she finishes that I jump in the shower and she goes downstairs and makes a big beautiful breakfast, which we both eat, after which she insiststhat I make wild love to her on the kitchen floor before I go to the office."
The doctor, a bit taken back asks, "you do that every morning?" The guy responds "every morning." The doctor asks, "then what?"
"Well", the guy says, "I get to the office and my secretary, who is a 22-year-old beautiful blonde bombshell, and former Miss October 2001, follows me right into the office, gets under my desk and gives me a blowjob that rivals the ones my wife gives me. Then I head out for lunch, return around 2pm, at which time my secretary gathers two other secretaries from the office (both perfect 10s) and the four of us go at it for about two hours on the carpet in front of my desk."
The doctor, again taken back asks, "you do that every afternoon?" The guy responds "every afternoon." The doctors asks, "then what?"
Our hero then says, "then I go home and my wife has a great big gourmet dinner ready for me, we eat and I take her and our 19-year-old Swedish maid upstairs and the three of us have about an hour-long orgy, then, I watch them go at it for another hour or so and then I go to sleep."
The doctor who's jaw is now on the floor, asks, "you do that every night?" The guy responds "every night." The doctors asks, "so what's the problem!?!" The guy answers, "I get dizzy when I jerk off."
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A man walks into a bar and sits down for a drink. The woman sitting next to him couldn't help but notice the sad look on his face as he orders a drink. She proceeds to ask him "What's wrong"
"My wife left me," the man replies.
"Oh, that is so sad, I am sorry to here that," says the woman. "Why did she leave you?"
"Well, to be honest, she said that I was too kinky."
The woman then says "Well, you won't believe this, but just last year my husband left me, for the very same reason. What do you say we finish these drinks, head back to my place, and see what happens?"
The man agrees, And when they get back to her place, she tells him to make himself comfortable and proceeds to the bedroom. She decides to make the best of it, and pulls out her finest kinky outfit. Black leather boots that go to her knees. Crotchless panties, and a bustier in black patent leather. A spiked collar and long black gloves. She ties her hair back in a tight pony tail, grabs her whip and heads for the door.
As she walks out she sees the man just opening the door to leave. "Where are you going?" she asks. "I thought we were going to have some fun."
The man replies , "I already fucked your dog and **** in your purse. I'm out of here."
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