THE "TWO COW" EXPLANATION OF WHAT MAKES...
A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows.
You keep one and
give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST:
You have two cows.
The government takes one and
gives it to your neighbor.
AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So what?
AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being
successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows,
forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
The people you voted for then take the tax money and
buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST:
You have two cows.
The government seizes both
and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST:
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and sells you the milk.
You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to
sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only
one cow, which was a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks
the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk
down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike
because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon
and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
They are mad.
They die.
Pass the shepherd's pie, please.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which
belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You enter into a partnership with an American
corporation.
Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation
declares bankruptcy.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship both of them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest
the newsman who reported on them
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION:
There are these two Jewish cows, right?
They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and
then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard
to become doctors. So, who needs people?
Now pass the A-1!
Some jokes.
OK, While We Are At It.....
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