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ALL New Users MUST Read AND RESPOND Before Being Allowed to Post

921K views 5K replies 4K participants last post by  GhostR1der 
#1 · (Edited by Moderator)
Good Evening,

In response to the overwhelming number of new users on this board, some of the senior members (well, 1 anyway) have decided to pro-actively write a second "Read Me First" post for new users. It seems that the first one, "stickied" at the top of the forum, is apparently too difficult to find.

Please remember, you MUST respond to this post before you will be allowed to start any new threads. Feel free to respond now so you don't forget.

Good work! :applause: You now have 1 post and are an official member :cheers:

So what do you need to know about M5Board.Com?

1. Search is your friend. I know, "New Thread" is right there and it is sooo tempting. But search first instead. Trust me on this.

2. SMG/misfire/CPS/etc. question - do a search. No matter what problem you have, I guarantee someone else had it first. Heck, 20 people have probably had it. Even the newest of these cars are pushing 20+ years old now, and this is, bar none, the greatest repository of M5 knowledge on the planet (short of the minds of some of our senior members). So do us all a favor and do a search.

2A. Of course, you already know how to search, right? I mean, how hard can it be? The answer is "Very". The site search feature works - sort of. Google seems to work better, just add "site:m5board.com" to your google query. This tells google to search this site alone.


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2B. Avoid bumping old threads. If after doing a search you don't have an answer you're always welcome to start a new thread. But I mean, that $5 taillight posted a decade ago that you just found is gone by now, seriously.

3. This is a forum of adults. Rudeness has no place. There is a real live human on the end of each and every post. Be respectful and you will be respected. Act like an infant and you will be treated like one. And please remember, there are active members on this board with 2K+, 3K+, even 5K+ posts. They didn't get that many posts by being wrong a whole bunch of times. Respect their wisdom and take an appropriate tone in your responses; you may very well be right in your argument, but alienating a senior member of the board due to a poorly phrased response is not in your best interest. You will find that the active membership, which you will be welcomed into, all know each other quite well...

4. WRITING IN ALL CAPS IS CONSIDERED YELLING. So don't. If you accidentally do so, please take the time to push the backspace key and type it again normally. This is standard internet protocol, but worth repeating.

5. Spelling and grammar errors are normal. Everyone makes them. And some of us even take the time to correct them. "Why?", you might ask? Because it makes it easier for other readers to understand your question / response. And though it may not seem like it, this is in everyone's best interest. You get more relevant feedback, and the rest of us don't have to decipher your gibberish. Lastly, English is a 2nd language for many of our members; let's not make them translate lousy English to proper English in addition to translating it to their first tongue! Note that I'm not referring to the infrequent typo here or there, but rather posts that are rampant with poor grammar.

6. If you are thinking about posting a thread about which oil to use, which oil not to use, which oils are BMW certified, which oils are the "best", which are the "worst", or anything that generally involves oil, DON'T. Instead, use the Search button. In case you haven't noticed it yet, it is in the top right corner of your screen.

7. If you must post an oil related question, be prepared to receive the following responses or simply be ignored:
  • "Use the search button"
  • "Not another damn oil thread"
  • You must use BMW TWS or your car will explode
  • You must use BMW 5W30 or your car will explode
  • Mobil1 / Castrol / <INSERT your favorite brand here>is the best
  • BMW only changed from TWS to 5W30 because it is cheaper
  • Use whatever you want, run a Used Oil Analysis (UOA) and modify according to the results
Every beast is different, so that last response is really the only useful one. Don't get me wrong - we all have opinions and we're more than happy to share them with you, but only You drive Your beast, so only You can make the decision. Remember: Opinions are like buttholes - everyone has one and they all stink.

8. Many members, myself included, post our modifications or improvements to the Beast. As contrary as this may seem, unless we specifically ask for feedback, we don't care if you like it. So please, before you hit send on that post telling us how much you don't like it, just close the window and move on.

9. You can subscribe to a post without posting "Following" in a useless response. Simply click on "Follow" (it is up there below the Search bar - you found the search bar, right?).

Again, I welcome you to the board, and remind you that if you have not yet posted a response to this unauthorized FAQ you should do so now -- otherwise it won't be sitting at the top of the page waiting for the next new member :)

Oh, one last thing: After you achieve approximately 2000 posts you will be welcomed into an exclusive group. Consisting primarily of grumpy old folks - in M5 experience, not physical years - who have little tolerance for questions that have been asked (and answered!) 1000 times already and even less tolerance for spelling errors and name calling, this group has been dubbed (just now, by me) the "Coalition Against Newbies Idiotic Theories", or "CAN IT". We can't help that we're grumpy, and sometimes we let out our frustration through posts like this. Thanks for taking the time to read it, and enjoy the board :cheers:

Doug
 
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#2 ·
Wow Doug... well crafted. Nice to read complete thoughts now and again...
:cheers:
Dave
 
#6 ·
Consisting primarily of grumpy old folks ... dubbed (just now, by me) the "Coalition Against Newbies Idiotic Theories", or "CAN IT". We can't help that we're grumpy ...

Doug
Geez Doug,

I only teased you once that you might have been a little a little gruff with rneedham1979's post (bent drive axle's (sic) ring any bells?) , and you go off and form a grumpy old M5 posters club.:1:




Seriously, great post! :cheers: I enjoy the depth of knowledge and experience that the articulate contributors share on his board. I hope that the flood of new M5 enthusiasts crashing the party clue in quickly.
 
#9 ·
What??

"Grumpy old folks"?? Meeeeeeee?? Nooooo!!:rolleyes:
 
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#10 ·
Anyone know which oil to use? :hihi::hihi:
 
#11 ·
Very useful post Doug.

The only comment I would add is regarding using clear language etc (your points 3 and 8).

This is an international board and if all members are to share the English language, it's the least we can do to use it properly so that non-native readers don't have to translate poor English into clear English before translating into their own tongue.

Is that grumpy enough to qualify me?

:grrrr:
 
#13 ·
Excellent

Good post. As you can tell I have been here a while. The board has certainly changed with the new excitment of the M5 wearing off to how do I fix it!

I am not real sure how many posts I have anymore, not that it matters, but this is still one of the most civilized boards around for car discussions.

Continued good information even for someone like me who has been here almost from the beginning.

Mark
 
#19 · (Edited)
i thought i would use some canolla cooking oil for winter i here its got the long life attitve lol :biggrinbounce:
 
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#29 · (Edited)
Lots of discussion about oil. I was at Albertsons yesterday and they're selling an oil called "vegetable"... has anybody tried that yet? Interested to hear how that works, it's def. cheaper than synthetic...

Haha, seriously, good post, though - I'm a rookie so I qualify as somebody who needs to abide.
 
#31 ·
Does a "thanks" qualify as a response? If not, consider this mine.

Oh, I hear you MUST use Kubota SUDT oil or else your hydrostatic transmission can suffer premature failure and you will void the warranty.

Woops! wrong forum...
 
#42 · (Edited)
I think I already broke my hydrostatic transmission - now my car stops every time I drive through water. :)

d-
You should have kept an eye on your transmission pressure gauge. Every M5 instrument cluster has one. :p


The board has certainly changed with the new excitement of the M5 wearing off to how do I fix it!

Mark
That always happens to message boards about cars. Its natural as more and more of the E39 M5s on the road are coming out of warranty and piling on the miles. Plus the value of these cars has diminished fallen from their sticker price therefore the next owner who can afford this now cheaper car isn't always willing to take it to the dealer for every little thing and pay $120+/hr. I watched it happen to an E34 board and an E39 board. Less and less stories about mods and fun driving, more and more about how to fix this or that. You guys will get used to it :blink:
 
#37 · (Edited)
Can you add another one?

How about NOT clicking the quote button of posts that have a crapload of pictures in them? If needed, leave the text but delete the pictures. It sucks when you're browsing and you see the same set of pictures twice and you gotta scroll further to find the text.
 
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