New 745i, First hands on impressions
I saw the new 745i for the first time "in the flesh" today at a dealer's in Berlin. Until today, I was thinking "maybe it just doesn't photograph well" or "maybe pictures don't do it justice".
Well, it doesn't photograph well, but that's because it's a phenomenally ugly vehicle! It's heavy set, dis-proportionate and just plain ugly.
Definitely, pictures don't do it justice. It's even uglier in real life! Speaking of justice, I wonder if justice will ever be brought on Chris Bangle? What would be the appropriate punishment for murdering a once beautiful luxury car? Quartering between four slowly accelerating 745i's? When will the board of BMW wake up to this version of "The emperor's new clothes"? When will they realise that un-warranted self esteem in conjuntion with the skills of persuasion and articulation have nothing to do with real design talent?
After having recovered from the first shock, I sat down for a coffee, watching the car from a safe distance whilst waiting for my winter tyres to be fitted. As my senses of proportion and scale slowly recovered, a friend rang. Still affected by the encounter with Bangle's creation, my first words were: "The new 7 is an absolute DOG!" Suddenly, I sensed someone looking at angrily me. It was the German Sheperd (dog, not teutonic agricultural professional) accompaning the lady a few tables away. My next thoughts were: 1. "You understand English!?" 2. "You're on a leash, right?" 3. "What an absolute insult and injustice to the canine species I made in comparing it with the new 7!" As Mr. Dog was not only familiar with the English language, but also a sharp mind reader, he nodded approvingly and turned his attention back to the table leg.
For some reason, all of this made me remember a clever TV commercial where a rhino is trying to mate with (what I think is) a Renault Kangoo. I wondered if even a rhino would try to bone the new 7? If he does, he might be impressed by the power assisted boot opening and closing system. The really worrying thought is that their off-spring might be the new 5 series.
So, what's the interior like? Different, but not a great improvement on it's pre-decessor. The cup-holders seem better (how could they NOT?), but probably would not hold a can of Red Bull during hard cornering, so still useless. The I-drive concept has been taken a bit too far, and if you don't go off the road playing with I-drive, you definitely will if you try to adjust the seats! To produce a car (or for that matter any operable device) with worse ergonomics than it's pre-decessor is absolutely criminal! Just waiting for the first I-drive lawsuits...
It breaks my heart to see a company that we know as a producer of beautiful and purposeful driving machines, degenerate into embracing concepts such as: "Funtion follows form", "Change for the sake of change" and "Being different without any other purpose". This used to be French territory (ever drive a Citroen?).
So what's it like to drive? Don't know. Decided I wouldn't even want to be seen dead in one.
Actually, as an estate, it would make a decent hearse!
Just my 0,02 Euro
well said Paul, well said.
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