The current plan is in fact to have the car shipped from NY to CA via private transport. The dealer is looking into shipment options. I have heard, both from the dealer and from others on these boards, that I should expect to pay on the order of $1500 for transport. On top of that, I'll almost certainly want to fly to the NY dealership to take initial delivery, inspect the vehicle, make sure it's really what I ordered, and of course drive it for a few days before sticking it on a truck
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I am considering the option of just driving it back. The biggest difficulty is that the break-in period would make the first 1200 miles of the trip pretty slow going. I figure I'd be doing well to finish the break-in in 5 days, so the whole trip (including 1200 mile service) would probably take about two weeks. It would be fun for me, but my wife wouldn't like it.
Thus, the courtesy delivery option sounds really good: it's cheaper, I potentially get the car sooner, I don't need to take any wife-unfriendly vacations, and if there are any issues with the car I can work on them with a local dealership.
I'll definitely give BMW of SF a call. And the ratings idea is a good one, too.
-Brett