I bought my car in NJ, and got it delivered to a local dealer (Dec. 2000). Your NY dealer is BSing you, bacause he doesn't feel like calling around for you.
The incentive for a local dealer to do a Courtesy Delivery are not that great. Beside the promiss that you'll be their customer for service/maintnance and maybe buying your next car there..
My NJ dealer called around, and told the local dealers a story, and promissed them $300 to cover delivery expenses.
I would recomend you approache the "delivery coordinator" at dealers near you, and have a talk with them. Promiss them you'd be thier customer, and you'd cover the cost of delivery (between $200 to $500). Some small dealers would like to have an M5 customer, but where can you find anything small in the Bay Area
, maybe in the east bay? Fremont?.
I got mine delivered to BMW SF, I have a friend who's a regular customer of Allison BMW (540i), and he got them to take delivery for him (also from NJ)...
Good luck..
Arie